We all have days or weeks or months or even years that we fall into a seemingly unmanageable depression. And believe me, I have been where you are right now, wishing for something that would make me feel like my overwhelming numbness was viable or some kind of logical reason for being so miserable. But sometimes there is a reason and sometimes there isn’t. Depression is a flaw in chemistry not character, and I know that it is hard and I know that it seems hopeless, but it’s not.
There will be good days. There will be days when you can eat without feeling disgusted and there will be days when the mirror doesn’t matter and there will be days when smiles come easier. And there will also be days when you skin is itching to be torn open and your stomach is begging for the burn of alcohol. You need to look past the bad days and remember that no matter how bad you feel, there will be good days.
And I know that this may sound like a spoonful of bullshit that I am trying to feed you, but it’s not. Take it from someone who has been clinically depressed since the age of 9, there are good days that make your existence worth pursuing. Relapses do not make you any less strong or any less amazing for dealing with the struggles that come with depression. It is an everyday battle that rarely offers a reward except for when you are 80 and looking back at all the years and all of the precious moments you allowed yourself to experience despite the war going on in your head. I promise you that you will be okay at some point. Please just wait for that point.
There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upwards; all you have to do is find the strength to climb. And I know you have that strength, so please help yourself get out if this shell-like cage you are in and please feel free to talk to me on any day, whether it’s a good one or a bad one. I hope you find a good day soon; take care lovely x
Oh wow haha thank you I’ve never heard that one before!
You have to remember that there was a reason you two broke up. It could have been something that either of you did or it could have been a lack of compatibility, but regardless, you broke up for a reason and whenever you feel yourself missing him you need to remember that reason. It’s ok to miss him and it’s ok to hurt, but you need to allow yourself to move on and find that relationship that is as close to perfect as you can get. You deserve to find that and you have to realize that lots of guys will treat you like that and some even better.Treating you like you are his world is not an added perk of this one guy, it’s how everyone should be.
And believe me, I know it’s hard to think you will find someone as good as him and its hard to give yourself to someone else when you are carrying around this nostalgia for another person, but you have to remember that he was not it for you. You can never love someone as much as you can miss them, but nostalgia is a liar that makes things seem better than they actually were. Let yourself move on and find someone that doesn’t make you miss them.
Oh my god I am so sorry to hear that and I cannot even imagine how awful that must feel. Sometimes our timing is just off and while you never got the chance to be in a relationship with him, I hope you can still cherish the time you had together. Life just sucks sometimes without any plausible reason and I sincerely wish you would have gotten more time to be with him and explore a potential relationship, but you can’t live only wondering what could’ve been. I know it hurts because there was so much to say and do and his time was cut short, but you have to trust that he knew how you felt. Life is very short but that doesn’t mean you have to rush into anything before you are ready, and I hope you can find the strength to move on despite losing a chance to have something. You will get other chances and some will work out and some won’t, but hopefully you get enough time to figure it out. I am so sorry and I hope you are okay, or that you can be in time.
Normally I write from my own experiences, but I’ve written some things for my friend after talking to her and understanding how she felt. Id be willing to give it a shot if you want, but I can’t promise it’ll be anything spectacular!
I don’t mind at all, I actually don’t use an app tho I just write them in word and take a screenshot.
I don’t think this is dumb in the slightest. As far as I am concerned, nothing anyone writes is ever dumb. It can be poorly written or grammatically incorrect or anything else, but not dumb. Your feelings, no matter how good or bad, are never dumb. They are real, and if being real is dumb then I hope I live in ignorance for the rest of my life.
Besides that, I think this is a beautiful piece that I can personally connect with. I would suggest a slight rewording, though:
"I glorified my shower for muffling my tears while blood poured down the drain. But when splitting my skin open no longer freed the evil in my veins, I turned to drugs and alcohol as my security blanket that kept me warm on the nights where the air was as cold as my heart."
Just a suggestion, not that I didn’t love the original piece as is. Do with that what you will, and feel free to send me anything else that comes to mind. Thank you for sharing this with me, and promise you won’t ever call your writing dumb again because it is the furthest thing from it!!
Wow honestly this is amazing, you have a truly mesmerizing voice. The only thing I would say is there is a typo-I assume seen was supposed to be seem. But other than that I think this is a wonderful piece of writing that you should share with others. Thank you so much for sharing it with me!!
Absolutely, I’d love to read it!!
Thank you that’s very sweet, idk tho I suppose I’m good at giving advice. But regardless you can always talk to me if you need to, I would love to help in any way I can.
The correct way to deal with ignorant misogyny.
- Ignorant misogynists: if women can do everything men can do, then why is it they haven't successfully oppressed an entire gender for thousands of years?
- Me: Women can get pregnant from another woman's bone marrow and when science renders men unnecessary we'll see who's oppressed.